Day 24: An Open Letter from a Mom of Littles [Why I Need You To Just Come Over]

Rooted Final 500 x 500

So it’s no secret that I’m a mom of 2 amazing small people.

And even though I feel like my heart is fully alive (most days) and I’m embracing this season in all its fun and intensity?  Parenting a baby with acid reflux plus trying to consistently parent a sweet, all-boy almost-3-year-old is one heck. of a lot of work.

Getting out of the house takes more energy and get-it-all-together-ness than I feel like I possess some days.

So I’m blessed when my friends who are also in this Raising Littles season come over (or I pull my crew together and head to their place) and we combine our respective chaoses.

We rarely get to complete a sentence during those times.  But listening to our kids belly laugh as they learn to play together makes our hearts swell, and stopping to referee the occasional (okay, frequent) toddler-throw-down makes us shake our heads, smile, and enjoy one another all the more.

love it.  It’s a sweet season these days with my fellow moms-of-littles.

BUT-

I need you, too.

You who are maybe in your late teens or 20’s or 30’s or 40’s or 50’s and livin’ the single life.

OR — You who are married but don’t yet have children.

OR — You whose children are older and in school or have completely grown and flown.

Yup – I need you.

And I know I don’t say it often enough, but I want you in my life.

Now.  Before I come off sounding lonely, I’ll just come out and say it – I’m for sure not.  I’m an introvert.  An outgoing one, but definitely an introvert.  I really like my alone time.

But more and more these days, I’m realizing that I need you.

I so love our home - I've put my heart into making it my own.

I want you to come sit in the big puffy chair in my living room and chat with me every once in a while, during these long days while my hubby’s at work.

[Or, more realistically, to not sit – but to follow me around and talk to me while I sweep up toddler crumbs and pour milk into plastic cups with twisty straws.]

I want you to laugh with me at my kids’ quirks and enjoy them maybe, for a minute, almost as much as I do.

[And possibly to laugh at with me when I stick my cell phone in the fridge or put the milk in the pantry.  Not saying I ever do stuff like that.  But, hypothetically – you know.]

I want you to drink iced coffee with me and share your heart and life and victories and struggles- in the midst of my messy/noisy/beautiful-but-mundane days.

Please Understand

And please don’t be offended or feel un-cared-for when I have to say, “Sorry – just a second,” and deal with the needs of a kiddo 12 times in about as many minutes.

Or when I leave to change a diaper and come back having completely forgotten what we were talking about.

[And when I do forget?  Please remind me.  You can even smile and say, “Sooooo, back to ME,” and I’ll love you for it because it means you’re confident that I genuinely desire to hear your heart even though my focus is pulled in a thousand directions all at once.]

Thanks for being patient with me.  Thanks for taking the time to know me – and let me know you – in this season of my life. Thanks for asking me questions and waiting while I wrangle my sleep-deprived brain and mouth to form the words of an answer.

Thanks for digging and inquiring and mining the deep things God’s put in my heart.  For believing they’re still in there even when they get buried under piles of dirty laundry. Thanks for loving me well in this season.

Because I Care Deeply

And about this season: it will pass. All-too-quickly, actually.

And one day I’ll once again be able to meet you for coffee at an actual coffee shop and we’ll have conversations that aren’t constantly interrupted. I’ll be able to really zone in on your heart and ask you all the profoundly insightful questions that I always wish I’d thought to ask when you were here, sitting in my puffy chair [or following me around – bless your heart].

But for now? Please come over to my house.  And please sit in that chair and talk to me, and let me talk to you while I fold laundry and feed bottles and change poopy diapers.

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And know that I absolutely will come across as distracted at times while we’re together. And that I really don’t like that, because I hate the thought of communicating a lack of value for your words.  Your life.  Your heart. Your friendship.

But please know that my distractedness does not – NOT – mean you’re not dear to me.  That I don’t love you. That I don’t enjoy spending time with you.

Or that I don’t really want you to say “Soooo, back to ME” 23 times per hour if necessary, when the oven timer goes off and my little guy needs a snack and baby girl spits up, and whatever we’d previously been talking about falls right out the back of my brain.

I care about you.  Deeply.

So come over, please.

Because This Is Sacred

And really?  This season of mommying little ones?  Of wiping noses and spit-up?  Of singing the ABC’s and roaring around the house like a dino?

It’s sacred.  A crazy, chaotic, awe-inspiring, character-building gift from God. A place of Divine encounter.  Grace.

But it so often goes unseen by anyone but Him.

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And can I just tell you – it means so very much to me when you come into my house and my life and really see.  When you acknowledge- either with words or just by your attentive presence- that this season’s hard, and that I’m living it well before Him – failures and all.

And this compassionate witnessing of my life?  And your talking and asking and reminding me that I’m still me and all that’s inside me hasn’t been lost in this season of crazy? It’s sacred too.  Just you being here.  Being a blip of community for me in the midst of my days.

I’m not always aware of how much I need it. But I do. So please come.

Invite yourself if I don’t invite you.  Please.

Be with me for a little while in the crazy-beautiful chaos that is my life as a mom of littles.

In case I’ve forgotten to say it to you personally- you are so much more than welcome in my world.

Oh – one more thing: I don’t hate Starbucks, and I don’t often get to darken the door of one.

Sooooo, if you happened to swing by there on your way to my place and grab me a grande-one-pump-peppermint-white-mocha?  I might kiss your feet upon your arrival.

Maybe.

Just sayin’.

BUT- Starbucks or no – please just come over.

I so want you in my life.

~Dana

PS – I wrote this from my heart and out of my own life-circumstances.  Obviously. :)  But I’m genuinely hoping that it speaks to, and from, the hearts of other mamas in similar life stages to mine.

If this resonates with you, why not pass it on?  People need to know – to be outright told – that we need them.

***Resurrecting this post from the archives today because it is one of my all-time favorites – and it rings true for me in this season as much as it did a little over a year ago. Thanks for grace while I’m away at Allume.***

This entry was posted in Community, Home and Family Management, Learning Authenticity, misc. walking with Jesus, Parenting, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Day 24: An Open Letter from a Mom of Littles [Why I Need You To Just Come Over]

  1. Marcy Hufnagel says:

    I’d love to pop buy for that coffee…my wee ones are grown and I’m enjoying my 14 month old grandson from time to time. Thanks for sharing your heart.
    Marcy

    • danalynnb says:

      Marcy! I would SO LOVE that. If you’re ever in KC, let me know! :) In the mean time – maybe find a local mama or two to follow around while they sweep stuff?! :) Bless you friend! xoxo

  2. Rebecca says:

    This speaks to and from my heart so well. I think it is awesome that you can put it into words and be bold enough to state it. And, I wish we lived closer to one another.

  3. Heather M says:

    Yes! I need to send this to everyone. Just everyone. :)
    Heather M recently posted…The Queen at Seventy-SixMy Profile

    • danalynnb says:

      Hiya Heather! I know, right? This is the stuff I’ve felt but haven’t figured out how to SAY till now. So I figure – other mamas of littles have to be feeling this way too, right? Share away… :)

  4. Lindsey says:

    Oh my sweet Dana, you took the words right from my heart and put them in yet another of your wonderful articulated writings! I have often longed for visitors of the same age category. I love that we are blessed to be able to be with our babies everyday and you’re absolutely correct- it goes by so fast so we must enjoy every moment of it. It is nice, however, to have the occasional adult conversation (even when it is interrupted one hundred times ; )). Living in Iowa has really been a challenge as I do not have any family or friends; it has however drawn me closer with my sisters whom I speak with on the phone almost daily. Thanks for the blog, no one could have worded it better!

    • danalynnb says:

      Yes to having the occasional adult conversation, Lindsey!! I’m sorry you don’t have family in Iowa… are there places you could go to connect with other mamas? Friends are such a huge deal… Love that you’ve bonded more deeply with your sisters though. And THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts here. I had a hunch I wasn’t the only one who had some of these thoughts… just wondering who else shares them. So again – thank you!! :) xo

  5. Thanks so much for writing from MY heart yet again, Dana! :) I’ve shared this all over facebook just now! For me, it goes for phone calls too – I was so blessed the other day when a friend in Australia (I’m in Malaysia) caught me on facebook and said, “Can I skype you right now?” Trying to plan these things ahead stresses me out because I feel like if it is planned ahead I need to have the house tidy and the kids organized so it was so nice to have a spontaneous, quick catch-up with her with no expectations, perceived or otherwise, of a long, uninterrupted time!

    Fair warning – next time we’re stateside and visiting my parents in KC, I’m so coming over to your house (even though we’ve never actually met :)!) and I’m going to follow you around and get to know you in person, and I might even help you fold your laundry or sweep for you!

    In all seriousness, thanks for blessing me amazingly again!!!
    Tina
    Tina at Mommynificent recently posted…Worship Solely Based on God’s Goodness: Five Minute FridayMy Profile

  6. Meg says:

    SO TRUE!! Well said. :)
    Meg recently posted…Fun Picture Books for a FridayMy Profile

  7. Hannah B says:

    Amen, girl. I love this. If I could jump in my car and drive to you right now, I would. Believe me.

  8. Oh yes. Right there with you girl! My boys are a year-and-a-half apart and it’s near-always chaos around here. LOUD. Dirty. Messy. Jumping. Running. Hollering. VRRRRROOOMing. You name it. We SO need community in the midst of all the crazy. (And coffee too. Are you ever not tired? I don’t think I’ve been not tired for four years now, including pregnancy of course! So yes, coffee = essential.)

    Pssst… we don’t even have Starbucks here. :( So if you ever come visit me, I’d like a grande caramel macchiato please?!
    Adriel Booker recently posted…From flashlight to LED light: Making childbirth safer with solar power innovation (Featuring WE CARE Solar) | 31 Days of Women Empowering WomenMy Profile

    • danalynnb says:

      I feel ya, friend! Yes to always being tired. And WHAAAAT? No Bux?! Oh dear. This must be remedied. Pronto. I would love to bring you one of those someday… :) xo

  9. Wendy says:

    Oh Dana, this is great. This is REAL – and real is awesome when you’re a bigger! How totally honest and refreshing, sweet mommy. I was in that stage six years ago and can relate and remember SO easily exactly what that felt like. If I lived near you I’d come over. I’d absolutely come over and keep you company in your craziness. More people – especially moms of littles – should be as real as you.

  10. Wendy says:

    *i meant a blogger, not a bigger. Auto correct, bite me!!
    Wendy recently posted…My Father in My CornerMy Profile

  11. Stacey says:

    I wish I could do this for my sister in law. She needs someone, and it breaks my heart that I’m not close enough to do anything.
    Stacey recently posted…Repeating builds wallsMy Profile

    • danalynnb says:

      Girl, I feel ya. I feel the ache in your heart for your sis-in-law. Asking Jesus right now to provide community for her. Thanks for sharing this, Stacey.

  12. Tara says:

    I absolutely loved this post. I would totally bring you a peppermint white mocha from Starbucks. I would LOVE to hold your little one and sit and chat with you. I’m such a baby lover. I even would change a diaper for you. I would sit on the floor and play with your all boy three year old. In other words, I’m thankful for your friendship and would accept you for all you are! Maybe someday we will meet InRL .

  13. Dana, your words just pour out of your heart and I wish I lived close enough to give you time — the one thing I wished for when I had a toddler. I felt all those things all those years ago when we sold everything we had and moved to south Texas, for my husband’s dream job. And then back again to Nashville finding our place again in a different part of the city. Stressful times but times to grow. Love those moments with your precious littles. I only had the preschool years as a stray at home mom but treasured them.

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