We came HOME last night. ICPC paperwork is finally cleared by both KS and MO and we were THRILLED yesterday afternoon to receive the “You may go home” phone call from our social worker.
We returned home in the midst of a wild thunderstorm, with the closest lightening I’ve EVER seen in my life. We rushed the kids inside through the pouring rain, brought in just the basics from our cars while praying our umbrella didn’t turn into a lightening rod. Then we put our exhausted, completely-maxed-out big-brother-boy to bed.
And I sat – and sat, and sat – on the couch, holding our girl. I couldn’t bring myself to put her down.
I realized I was grieving a bit. Grieving the fact that the first week of her life hadn’t been what I would have wanted it to be if it were up to me.
That we’d come “home” from the hospital but not really home. That, though we so appreciated our friends’ hospitality and enjoyed our time with them, it had also been hard to be away from our own home. Hard on Isaac. And whether she was aware or not, hard on Maia. (Oh, and hard on Mommy. )
So I held her. And Stan – bless his amazing heart – did almost all of the unpacking for our entire family so I could sit still, relax, and give Maia the cuddles I’d been aching all week to give her.
It is so sweet to be home.
Today Stan is back to working at his office after a week and a half. (He spent several days working from our friends’ house – mostly half days – while we were captive in Kansas. ) Today’s been my first day completely without him to help me wrangle both kids.
And actually, it’s been surprisingly okay. God gives so much grace. I don’t have makeup on, but I did get a shower before Stan left for work. Score.
(And hey, I’m sitting still for a few minutes to write this blog post while both – yes BOTH – kids are napping. Double score.)
I’ve spent my day mostly back and forth between holding Maia (and feeding and comforting and holding some more) and trying to consistently discipline and affection and invest in Isaac. He’s definitely feeling all of the change, but I can clearly sense God’s grace over his heart as well.
He loves his baby sister. It’s so, so fun to see him start to bond with her. This morning I walked in on him saying to her, “I wanna go to T-Rex (his fave restaurant). Do you wanna come to T-Rex, Baby Maia?”
I pretty much melted. He was inviting her into his world. Regardless of the fact that she was totally zonked, asleep in her bassinet.
Ohmygoodness. My heart.
Anyway, just a brief post to let y’all in on our current status. We are doing well, loving this season. Taking it slow for a while longer and enjoying these precious moments.
The Story Is Coming – I Promise!
Soon I’ll begin my “Getting Our Girl” series. I’m excited to let you all in on what Maia’s birth week looked like for us.
But I’m also still cherishing those details in my heart, pondering the perfect hand and plan of the Father in it all, and trying to sort out what details should be shared and which ones are too personal to share.
And I realize that I’m actually still processing all of it – me and my internal-processor-ness.
BUT I’ll be ready to share soon.
Love to y’all, my friends.
May you live today with an acute awareness of the divine hand and perfect plan of God woven throughout your life. And may that awareness transform your moments from mundane to color-filled, and your heart from autopilot to crazy-alive.